What do they mean? Why do they carry so much weight? What happens to those who never hear them? Should the words of a father make or break a child’s, or adults for that matter, life?

I remember almost ten years ago sitting in Marietta, GA watching Big Daddy with some friends and out of no where tears began to fall down my face. I found myself completely naked emotionally, open, vulnerable and wondering why my father had not told me he loved me. I called him that very moment and asked him. He immediately thought something was wrong, yet still not able to articulate his feelings. I hung up. He had his then girlfriend/fiance call me to make sure i was OK, and to reassure me that he loved me. IT WAS NOT THE SAME. He then got on the phone to tell me himself. I don’t know how long I waited to hear that, or even remember why that moment and at that particular time, but I NEEDED IT!

Next month, it will be three years since his funeral.

I look at my kids daily and KNOW that i don’t say everything right, or do everything right. I know that I don’t have all of the answers to the infinite questions that they have already about life and their future. I know that there are times when I say something and it is taking differently if a stranger, friend, or even their mother might say it. But, why is that? Why, if I raise my voice it is taken to the ‘inth degree and someone else may do the same thing and its as if they ignored them. I didn’t get it.

Until now.

We, both young and old, who have realized that God through a relationship with Christ is our Father have a burning desire to impress, please and desire a closeness with Him. We, long to be who he has desired us to be. Outside of this relationship, we, both sons and daughters, desire and yearn for a relationship with a “father” or father figure of some sort. This inate desire comes from an internal longing to be one with God, but that is another post!

That was a mouthful.

Human nature craves approval, acceptance, love and a relationship that gives it the “OK” to be OK! I somehow along the way forgot that not long ago i was there, my boys, age and longing for the same thing they do. The words of their father. the words of approval, correction, acceptance and love. They long for me to give them what I have been able to receive from my step father who has more than accepted me like was his own flesh and blood.

To my boys, I love you. I love you more everyday as you grow into young men. I am who i am because of you!

I have to end this here…

Daddy

In the meantime, please continue to pray for my family, peculiarplace and for God to continue to prepare the hears of those in and around downtown Atlanta that He has called us to reach!!!

love ya!

I will keep you posted on his arrival and pics will follow later today!!

So many things have taken place over the month or so that I dont think I have enough blog space to tell you about it! Just know that I have grown, am growing and am so excited about what God is doing in our lives!!!

Zion Joel Owens will be here in less than a month!! I am so pumped I cannot wait!!

I am off to Lynchburg, VA tomorrow looking forward to it, although i am going to miss the Heck out of Esther.

Im back on my feet baby!!!

Will catch you up very soon!!!

just joking, all i know is that Zion Joel Owens is on his way into this world, and if Esther’s size is any indication of his… we are going to have a big one on our hands!!

for the last four months our household has been in a whirlwind of frenzy. so many things going on, never enough time and hoping and wanting to keep it all together… you know, men, never let ‘em see you sweat. Right?

then one day it all comes crashing down… its as if the world decided to turn against you in a nano second. everything you knew to be reality, to be sure, to be certain is now dancing with confusion as you lean against the wall hoping no one sees you.

your wife tells you that you are feeding me physically and spiritually, but emotionally im STARVING!

huh? when? how? what did i miss? but but…

i ran away to seek God and get some understanding… i just got knocked out in the first round no need to bite my ear off cus im out on the canvas just hoping i can still walk. and as always He is there for me, only to tell me just how wrong i have been, and i hear the word that makes my heart ache, the word that is like driving nails in my own wrists and feet.. SELFISH.

you see somewhere along the way in this four month time span, in this amazing part of our journey together as a family as husband and wife as best friend and lovers, i began to lick my own wounds. i began to see me and lost sight of her wondering why i dont get and why i cant and who is going to do for me and damnit im right and your wrong and what about me what about me… in the corner… hoping no one is looking… licking my wounds….

But God….

Brothers, please please please understand this, I write these words to share so that you dont make the mistake I made. You see for the first time in my life after prayer and heaven sent wise counsel, I was able to admit that I had become SELFISH. LOVE, the LOVE that God is in, is not selfish, it does not consider itself, it denies self and consumes it self in the object of its affection. That is LOVE! That is GOD!

Someone once said this to me, and please comment and let me know what you think…

Love is when two people deny their needs, and focus on the needs of the other person, and meet those needs before the person ever knows there was a need. That is LOVE! Think about this, how much attention would you have to pay, how much time would you have to put in, and how much listening would you have to do to meet a need before the need is ever known by the person who posses it? My next question is simple, if you did the above, when if ever would you have time to have an affair? (To put out the rumor fires before they even begin, NO! I did not have an affair.)

I have since allowed god to show me the errors of my ways. He has shown me and my wife has directed me to serving her a buffet in all areas of her life. I pray never to have her become bankrupt in any area, EVER!

Thanks for listening!