therstblog

What do they mean? Why do they carry so much weight? What happens to those who never hear them? Should the words of a father make or break a child’s, or adults for that matter, life?

I remember almost ten years ago sitting in Marietta, GA watching Big Daddy with some friends and out of no where tears began to fall down my face. I found myself completely naked emotionally, open, vulnerable and wondering why my father had not told me he loved me. I called him that very moment and asked him. He immediately thought something was wrong, yet still not able to articulate his feelings. I hung up. He had his then girlfriend/fiance call me to make sure i was OK, and to reassure me that he loved me. IT WAS NOT THE SAME. He then got on the phone to tell me himself. I don’t know how long I waited to hear that, or even remember why that moment and at that particular time, but I NEEDED IT!

Next month, it will be three years since his funeral.

I look at my kids daily and KNOW that i don’t say everything right, or do everything right. I know that I don’t have all of the answers to the infinite questions that they have already about life and their future. I know that there are times when I say something and it is taking differently if a stranger, friend, or even their mother might say it. But, why is that? Why, if I raise my voice it is taken to the ‘inth degree and someone else may do the same thing and its as if they ignored them. I didn’t get it.

Until now.

We, both young and old, who have realized that God through a relationship with Christ is our Father have a burning desire to impress, please and desire a closeness with Him. We, long to be who he has desired us to be. Outside of this relationship, we, both sons and daughters, desire and yearn for a relationship with a “father” or father figure of some sort. This inate desire comes from an internal longing to be one with God, but that is another post!

That was a mouthful.

Human nature craves approval, acceptance, love and a relationship that gives it the “OK” to be OK! I somehow along the way forgot that not long ago i was there, my boys, age and longing for the same thing they do. The words of their father. the words of approval, correction, acceptance and love. They long for me to give them what I have been able to receive from my step father who has more than accepted me like was his own flesh and blood.

To my boys, I love you. I love you more everyday as you grow into young men. I am who i am because of you!

I have to end this here…

Daddy