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What do they mean? Why do they carry so much weight? What happens to those who never hear them? Should the words of a father make or break a child’s, or adults for that matter, life?

I remember almost ten years ago sitting in Marietta, GA watching Big Daddy with some friends and out of no where tears began to fall down my face. I found myself completely naked emotionally, open, vulnerable and wondering why my father had not told me he loved me. I called him that very moment and asked him. He immediately thought something was wrong, yet still not able to articulate his feelings. I hung up. He had his then girlfriend/fiance call me to make sure i was OK, and to reassure me that he loved me. IT WAS NOT THE SAME. He then got on the phone to tell me himself. I don’t know how long I waited to hear that, or even remember why that moment and at that particular time, but I NEEDED IT!

Next month, it will be three years since his funeral.

I look at my kids daily and KNOW that i don’t say everything right, or do everything right. I know that I don’t have all of the answers to the infinite questions that they have already about life and their future. I know that there are times when I say something and it is taking differently if a stranger, friend, or even their mother might say it. But, why is that? Why, if I raise my voice it is taken to the ‘inth degree and someone else may do the same thing and its as if they ignored them. I didn’t get it.

Until now.

We, both young and old, who have realized that God through a relationship with Christ is our Father have a burning desire to impress, please and desire a closeness with Him. We, long to be who he has desired us to be. Outside of this relationship, we, both sons and daughters, desire and yearn for a relationship with a “father” or father figure of some sort. This inate desire comes from an internal longing to be one with God, but that is another post!

That was a mouthful.

Human nature craves approval, acceptance, love and a relationship that gives it the “OK” to be OK! I somehow along the way forgot that not long ago i was there, my boys, age and longing for the same thing they do. The words of their father. the words of approval, correction, acceptance and love. They long for me to give them what I have been able to receive from my step father who has more than accepted me like was his own flesh and blood.

To my boys, I love you. I love you more everyday as you grow into young men. I am who i am because of you!

I have to end this here…

Daddy

From Texas, South Dakota, Atlanta to Oklahoma people have answered the call of 50 giving $10 and so far we are only $200 from our goal! I just want to thank ALL of you who have given.

TODAY is the deadline, so don’t procrastinate any longer… GIVE BIG HERE!!

It means so much, I will be sure and let the kinds know who their big brothers and sisters truly are!

We will have pics of the field trip as well!

There are some fifth graders hoping that YOU can come through for them! I know that maybe the thought of $500.00 seems like a lot of money, so here is another way to look at it. 50 of you giving $10, or maybe even 100 of you giving $5. Just knowing that you have helped these kids go on a field trip that they otherwise wouldnt be able to go on has to be an incredible feeling.

Look, we need you. We need your help. These kids deserve to be able to leave their neighborhood and see more of the city they have lived in all of their lives. Many of their parents have never left this same neighborhood.

Will you help?

CLICK HERE

TRIP INFO:

School: John Hope Elementary, Atlanta, GA Old Fourth Ward
Field Trip: Omni Hotel, CNN Center
Grade: Fifth Graders
Surprise Lunch: Still working out details and timing issues, but my desire is The Varsity! Many of these kids have never been outside of their neighborhoods and have not experienced one of Atlanta’s Landmarks.

Just finished watching Dr. Martin Luther Kings “I Have A Dream” Speech with my wife and boys. I have fought the feeling of restlessness long enough that lives within me concerning a period of time where “we” freedom was a precious commodity. A time where white was white and black was wrong. A time where power seemed to mean more than prayer. Until today…

My boys did the best they could to stay focused and appear interested to appease their father, but I watched with tear filled eyes as Dr. King delivered one of the most famous speeches of our lifetime. I remembered the first time I heard it, and the stirring it created in me. Unable to fathom what it must have been like to go to jail, to have dogs bite you an attack you, to have fire hoses pointed at you tearing skin from your body from the waters vicious force… I couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. Today, I watched my boys and thought, what a blessing that they don’t have to go through any of this. That Zion will have never known what it was like to “not” have a black man as President. What a blessing.

Then, for a moment i thought, what a curse. To never have known or be able to relate to struggle. For them to look at an “old” video of a man speaking and not understand that this speech, that movement had a great deal to do with affording them to live where they live, go to school with whom they go to school with, to play the games they play, to dream the dreams they dream. I’m not saying that I think that they “have” to go through the struggle, but i never want them to take for granted what and who has come before them, to be able to do what they do. I never want them to look at yesterday and think, “that was them, we don’t care about that or we don’t have those problems”. I don’t want them to be called NIGGER, and run out of a diner because they are black, that happened to me not long ago, but i want them to know that they are beautiful black men whose wildest dreams can and will come true with hard work and trust in God.

I know, some say, why cant they just be beautiful men, why beautiful black men? Let me answer this like this. First and foremost they are children of God. Gifts given to Esther and I from our Father. Entrusted by Him to train them in the way they should go, to fulfill the purposes in which He created them. And simultaneously they will go certain places where people will not see their heart, but see their skin and treat them a certain way because of that. There will be people who will notice them not as children of God, but as black men and yes in 2009, 10, 11, 12 and so on may have an issue with that. How do you prepare them for that. Some people I know chose not to, I think that’s a mistake. Some chose to ignore it as if it is not an issue today.

I am raising them to know who they are in Christ and that in Christ ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. Impossible is NOTHING. I am raising them to know who they are and where they come from. From Louisiana to Haiti my boys have a rich history filled with  both triumph and pain. Today we celebrate, tomorrow we get back to work. I am raising them to be victorious both in this world and the one to come. I am raising them to see hurt, pain and suffering in people and have a deep desire to help heal through the message of the Gospel and through ACTION, putting feet to faith!

Dr. King and all those who have come before you and after you, THANK YOU!

I have been asking myself this question for some time. And honestly still don’t have a real answer, other than it varies from person to person and situation or circumstance. So, why write this post? I am hoping to ignite a discussion about the art of “CHANGE”. It would seem an appropriate topic with a new administration taking office soon whose mantra was built on the idea of change. It would also seem beneficial as we often share with those far from Christ why they should “EXPERIENCE LIFE CHANGE” by entering into a relationship with Christ and maybe there is someone, like myself, who still has some things to change (and yes its a laundry list) then maybe you simply want to know how long it will be before it “TAKES”!

There is a thought in the social science world that three consistent months of an activity creates a habit. I have heard some mention that this habit must first begin as a thought, or better a way of thinking that becomes an action, which would lead to the habit, desired or not.

Then I begin to think about the promises of Jesus and the miracles performed by Him and those who followed Him. Change was instant, so we think. The woman with an issue of blood, touches His garment and “instantly” she was healed, right? It would appear so, but what about all the years she suffered, from doctor to doctor, medicine, surgery and God only knows what else she tried before she “mustard” (pun intended) up the faith to BELIEVE that if she simply touched Him her life would never be the same, she would CHANGE. The same would go for the Jairus and his daughter and even more astonishing was the faith of the centurian- who simply stated that if He would say the Word, his servant would be healed, and He did and he was!

OK, so what are you saying? I am simply stating that although it would appear that these, “CHANGES”, miracles took place instantly, i am willing to step out on a limb and offer that there was much work, effort and most importantly “FAITH” building/growing inside of each individual before “opportunity met preparation”, before they came face to face with Him.

The desire to change, is a great place to start, but it alone WILL NOT create change. There must be effort, there must be commitment, there must be hard work and lastly you have GOT to have FAITH! Expect the end result in which you desire. Expect to see the change, even if it is only you who initially notices the change! Pressure on yourself to change without willingness to work on the change will lead to insanity! I know, I’ve been there and was recently close to going back down that road.

Lastly the desire to change MUST come from WITHIN! You cannot do it for anyone else! You just can’t. The minute you make that change, and the minute they don’t notice it, you are probably going to have a fit, or lose it or both!

So how long does change take?

The better question is how long do you want it to take?