therstblog

Today was a tough one…

It never ceases to occur, the minute i am tired, worn out, or burnt out; the enemy seems to locate me like a scud missile. So in the midst of having a hum drum morning, i felt like i could not find my place, i could not seem to breath; so i turned to the one person who ALWAYS has my back, knows my heart, and loves me as much as i love her… my wife!

So I share my thoughts with you..

I think i have to stop reading about other church’s growth for a
while… today, and im thinking its cus im tired, that it is really
affecting me, i was almost in tears just now and had to walk outside
just to get some air…

for a brief moment i asked the same questions that have already been
answered, am i doing the right thing? why arent we growing? what is
wrong with me, that no one wants to come or bring their friends? would
our two families move with us? what am i doing wrong? do i know what
im doing? or am i just pretending to knwo what im doing?

now i know all of the answers to these questions are YES and AMEN, but
i had a brief moment of dispair, of doubt, of who the hell do i think
i am. It has passed and i am fine, but i KNOW there are some things
that must be made to happen. I must pray like i have never prayed
before, I must shutup and listen to God, and most importantly i must
RELEASE fully the burden of being anxious and worrying about growth
and am i the one, and am i doing this right. I must RELEASE it ALL!!!!

I think this will be one of my new post this week. I need to write
more in my blog and dig deep into whatever fears or questions. I have
the greatest spiritual father in the world. I have the greatest father
in the world, I have the greatest wife and “partner” (lol) in the
WORLD, and I have the greatest children and church family in the
world. Yesterday was proof positive that there are people out there
looking for A Peculiar Place, and what God is doing in our lives.

I am not Jesse, I am not Andy, I am not Creflo, or Ed, I am LLOYD
OWENS, the chief operator of A Peculiar Place and husband, and father,
and son, and brother, and friend, most importantly I am God’s favorite
Son!

I love you baby, i dont know how or where I would be if It were not
for you. The fact that you are here and support me/ us, means more
than words can ever say!!!

This is not and wont ever be easy, quick, or effortless, It is WORK,
it is MINISTRY, and i would not want to do this with anyone else!!!!

ok i have to quit because the tears are coming back…